From November 2023, I was bedbound in a pitch-black, silent room 24-7 for 18 months.

 

I had the severest form of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), also known as chronic fatigue syndrome, a neglected and stigmatised chronic health condition. I could usually only whisper a few words a day and at points had to be spoon-fed.

Thankfully, I’m doing much better now, and I want to talk about how joining the Ramblers has helped me begin to rebuild my life.

ME can be a very isolating condition, forcing you to miss out on many things, and in my mid-twenties, this stung particularly hard. I was itching for excitement - to be out there meeting people, seeing new places, and trying things.

Many of my friends were living in London or travelling the world, and I yearned to do the same. But although my mind was full of plans, dreams and desires, my body was broken, and for some time I just had to accept it.

However, I promised myself that if I got better, I’d never again take life for granted.

 

 

Rebuilding my fitness

So, as my health improved I sought to catch up on the things I’d missed out on. I was also severely deconditioned and needed to rebuild my fitness.

My legs shook when I put pressure on them, and my muscles were almost non-existent to begin with. I started going out with friends and doing gentle yoga to get my body moving again.

At some point, my dad suggested joining a walking group. I’d loved hiking before ME, especially around the Peak District. I’d also been on a few adventures, including solo camping along Offa’s Dyke Path in December (not advised) and trekking with friends along the less-travelled Rob Roy Way in Scotland.

I remembered the promise I’d made myself and decided to try it out.

 

Joining the Ramblers

Initially, I was worried it would be too much for me. However, I was impressed by the range of walks that my local group, Stockport Ramblers, offered, especially the shorter, flatter ones which were accessible for me.

My first walk was around a forest one summer evening. Being back in nature after years inside was like drinking cold water after being stranded in the desert.

I had a lovely time soaking up the sun, marvelling at trees and chatting to people. In fact, I met more people that evening than I had in total in my years with severe ME. There was also no pressure to keep a certain pace, which was a relief.

Someone there recommended another Ramblers group, Manchester and District (MAD) Walkers, which was for people in their 20s and 30s. I was especially keen to meet others my age, so I tried it out soon after.

It was another short walk, this time around some local parks. I knew I’d found the right group for me as I drove home afterwards.

 

 

A new positive mental attitude

Being bedbound so long changed me in various ways. It took a physical toll, which has impacted certain bodily functions that I’m sure you’d rather not know about.

But mentally, the effect has been surprisingly positive. I have a newfound gratitude for things I took for granted, which seems to be lasting. For example, I’d often mind my own business at social events before, but after being too ill to have a proper conversation for around a year, I now love meeting people.

Everyone’s different and has their own stories to tell. I have no qualms about sharing my own story, either, and everyone I’ve told has been kind and curious to know more.

 

Ongoing recovery

My condition has continued to improve since I started walking again, enabling me to try out some longer ones.

I recently went on a weekend away to Glencoe in Scotland with my Ramblers group and climbed Ben Nevis. Reaching the highest mountain peak in the UK was a symbolic moment in my recovery. It would have been unthinkable a year ago, lying in total darkness without the energy to turn over in bed.

ME still limits me. Cognitive dysfunction and unrefreshing sleep are daily challenges. It’s possible I’ll never fully recover. But my story shows anyone struggling that it can get better - much, much better.

And when I feel down about what I still can’t do, I remind myself how far I’ve come and repeat the simple thought that helped me reach the summit of Ben Nevis and pulled me through the hardest parts of my illness: keep going.